One of the reasons I started this website/blog was because over the last few years I have found a massive change in ME controlling my life, rather than feeling like it’s the other way round and the biggest part of this is Mental Health. If I was asked, the greatest gain I have had as part of the “Going to the Gym” and change of life decisions, I would say it was getting control of my head back. I am a bloke and so we don’t have mental health issues or an emotional journey do we? Of course we do, but often we just won’t talk of our troubles, sometimes we will but only when it gets to a critical stage.
I, like many, work in an office 9-5 (often more than that of course) and I have plenty of pressure and frustrations that come with it. For me I have always struggled to some degree with the mental element of it as I believe that I hold myself up to a higher standard than my work does. This is good for the employer but bad for you and your life, and I have never been good at separating them as I am always worrying about the next thing and can NEVER make a mistake.
Mens Mental Health is Important for Us & Loved Ones
When I have been asked what made me start at the gym the answer is, looking back now, very sad and not positive at all. I would not tell anyone as I am an old school bloke, but I was really struggling! I was struggling to control my head and mental space and there was much in my way of living I was not enjoying or didn’t like. I didn’t look forward to sleep as I knew I wouldn’t sleep well as well. In the evenings I would worry about what happened at work today and what will happen tomorrow. I must admit I had got myself in a pretty dark place, AND – as we probably all know, at night it just gets 10 times worse.
Like most people I would have a beer or 2 (more like 3 or 4) every evening which was a nice release for the evening and was the thing I would look forward to during the day. It gave me those few hours where the brain would calm and let me become old me and let me look forward to things again. There are many problems with this. I wouldn’t say I ever had a “drinking problem” as in the normal expected definition of a drinking problem as I just drank in the evening to relax didn’t I? I would say I had a BAD relationship with alcohol – another common sign linked to Mental Health.
Drink would also help get me to sleep in the evenings but meant a bad sleep was ahead as I would wake up often of course to pee as we can only have so much liquid in us. But this meant the brain had a chance to wake up as well and it would take over my thought patterns and so the darkness would arrive again. I would only think about the worst case scenario of any issue and this is where the walls close in on you and you can’t get them to bugger off again.
Regardless of the night’s sleep I would wake up about 4am, maybe put the tv on but regardless would then have a crap couple of hours of worry – This went on for months, maybe years.
Something Needed to Change
The Gym was not the top of my list I can tell you. I decided though to try something different and thought I had had enough of feeling bad and so from now on when I woke up at 4am I would just accept it, get up and watch some TV downstairs and just accept that that was the end of the sleep. So I did this – For One Day!
Getting up and watching the TV stopped me worrying which was good for Mental Health to some degree but at the same time then I was thinking what a waste and it shouldn’t be like this but I couldn’t see any way out of it.
At this point my Eldest Son was, and still is, a complete Gym nut and I have often used his commitment and motivation to go to the gym as MY Motivation and THIS IS WHEN IT STARTED! I decided that I was wasting time sitting watching TV before work and I should copy his motivation and try the gym. I kept seeing these people talking of being at the gym for hours before work and thought – what a bunch of weirdos. But what the hell let’s give it a try.
I am an ‘all or nothing’ kind of guy and so I thought if you are going to try the gym then the anti-social weird time of day seems like the perfect time to do it. Try it when there are few people around, whilst the neighbourhood sleeps let’s drive off in the dark and go to a gym.
At 4am there is some planning required to find a gym and one that is open etc and I will cover that in another blog item but I Decided Day One or One Day was Today. That first day was a challenge as I had no idea what to do in a gym, it felt awkward and I felt very much out of place but thought “Balls To It” ! I am not sure what I can do there but something is better than nothing and then come back and shower and try the day. Now whilst awkward at the gym, once I have done it- The Rest of the day I felt great!
It is possibly not the correct attitude but at the time in particular I didn’t care. I FELT SMUG and accomplished and it WAS GREAT!! Of course I didn’t feel any fitter or anything but it FELT different. I thought this was enjoyable, this was something I could throw myself into and commit and make a change! I haven’t looked back since then. The change from day to day as well as the change to how I feel both physically and mentally and my daily routine is night and day!
My Mental Health As A Gym Person
My headspace is like night and day change now and I feel so much more like myself, this has been the BIGGEST transformation BY FAR! There are many factors and I have changed many other things along the way which I will cover in due course as well such as diet, priorities and more. But the BIGGEST change was going to the Gym. There are many reasons to say why you can’t go OR can’t do SOMETHING but the biggest thing is deciding today is the day and getting off your arse!
I feel so much happier and in control – I control my work brain and turn it off when I get home. There are times when I lose it a bit but it is a game changer. For those that are happy to talk to a therapist or use many of the Mental Health tools and services that are there (some linked below) then reach out. It wasn’t for me and I am SO GLAD that I found the gym.
I now try and go to the gym 5 or 6 days a week. Often this is between 5 and 7 in the morning. These days, with the extra effort of the gym and trying to stay up a bit later, I sleep well and so getting up in the morning TO AN ALARM is much harder. But then I remember the motivation need and I KNOW I will feel so much better for the day if I go.
What I do get now though which I love – Sometimes I wake up and turn the alarm off as the brain is calm, I am relaxed and the walls don’t close in anymore. I have another trick or two which I will share as well. If I think they will, then I go to the Gym. For me I was losing the gains of the day over the worries and this worked for me! – Try something new, find what works for you
Mental Health Support
The trigger for this post was that I just saw a post on Linkedin (why am i checking this on a Sunday) which talked of someone that committed suicide seemingly out of the blue a few years back. The person that created that post on linkedin shared a number of links which I thought was a wonderful idea and so please find them below as well:
- Tough To Talk – Dedicated to support Men away from the thought of Suicide
- If you need a Safe Space to talk you can talk to Samaritans on 116 123
- Find guidance and emotional support though the SANE textcare and SANEline services
- Visit the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
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